The Force is Strong with These Two

This has been an eventful year and it is really flying by! I can’t believe that it is already November. This spring, Emmett’s big brother, Corbin, finally convinced us that we should welcome a dog into our family again. It has been 6 years since we lost our sweet dog, Cody, so getting a puppy has definitely been an adjustment. We wanted to be sure that whatever dog we chose would be good with Emmett, so we were glad to find a puppy that was a little older and had been socialized with young children. We let Corbin choose his name and Jedi joined our family in mid April. I could tell early on that he would be good with Emmett. Although Emmett doesn’t play with Jedi like a typical child might, he definitely likes having him around.

A few days after we brought Jedi home, we discovered that Emmett thinks it’s hilarious when Jedi gets in trouble. If we reprimand Jedi for doing something wrong, Emmett giggles like he’s saying, “Ha, ha, you’re in trouble and I’m not!”

Ironically, Emmett and Jedi often get reprimanded for similar things: chewing on things that they shouldn’t, pulling laundry out of the basket, and trying to snatch food. There are times that I think they are secretly plotting against us! Emmett recently discovered that he can not only open the side door and go out to the garage, but he can also open the van door and get into his booster seat all by himself. Now that Jedi is part of the family, they both like to “escape” into the garage and will both get into the van or if the garage door is open, they will both make their way outside! Needless to say, we definitely have to watch Emmett closely, if the garage door is open.

Emmett also cracks up when Jedi barks, which is definitely counterproductive if we are trying to discourage Jedi from barking. However, I am thankful that Jedi’s bark doesn’t scare Emmett or make him cry because that would be so much worse! I’m equally thankful that Emmett’s loud vocalizations don’t seem to bother Jedi. On the first morning that we had him, Emmett started making sounds like he normally does when he wakes up and Jedi looked up at Corbin to make sure that everything was okay. Once he knew that we weren’t concerned about the sounds that Emmett was making, Jedi seemed completely unbothered by it.

I’ve also found myself calling Emmett by Jedi’s name and vice versa. I honestly think that I get their names mixed up more than I do Corbin and Emmett’s.

Something else that I noticed when we first brought Jedi home was how much more affectionate Emmett was with Corbin. Don’t get me wrong, Emmett is all about his big brother, but I think he was a bit jealous of all of the attention that Jedi was getting from Corbin, so he was giving him even more hugs and cuddles. Emmett also likes to be close to Jedi, jingle his tags, and touch his fur, but he will sometimes try to pull his hair or pet him a little too hard, so we have to watch him closely. Jedi is very patient with Emmett and likes to come into his room when I go in to get him every morning. He also likes to lick Emmett, which we try to discourage, but Emmett doesn't seem to mind it.

For those of you that may not know Emmett, he always wants to be where the action is! If someone leaves a room, he isn’t far behind. This is also true with Jedi, so I can pretty much count on having not one, but two little “shadows” following behind me now. They are also both experts at wanting attention from the person that is busy doing something, even when there is someone else completely available to attend to them.

In addition to wanting to be where the action is, they are also very observant and enjoy watching what is going on around them. If the neighbors are outside or a delivery person stops at our house, it is a pretty safe bet that they will both be watching their every move.

Emmett and Jedi are also equally interested in food and they both let us know if they think it is time to have something to eat. In fact, we had to get Jedi a slow feeder, so he wouldn't eat too fast and Emmett will just keep stuffing food in his mouth, if we don't watch him closely.

Although there is obviously a huge difference between Emmett and Jedi, it is funny how many of their personality traits are so similar! They keep us on our toes, but it is fun to see how they interact and communicate with each other. The force is definitely strong with these two and it will be interesting to see how the relationship between them changes through the years.

Seriously Sweet

Hug or Headlock?

Snuggle Buds

Just Hangin' Out!

Double Trouble

The Little Escape Artists

Puppy Love

Outdoor Shenanigans 

Our nearly 50 pound “lap dog” looks huge in this picture!

Christmas Catch Up

It’s hard to believe that Christmas is here again! Emmett is doing well, but the holidays are always kind of hard for him. Like many children with special needs, a change in the usual routine can be difficult. He loves going to his ABA program every week day and is not a fan of being home for long periods of time. The past few days have been particularly frustrating for him because it has been too windy and cold to be outside or go anywhere. He’s not a fan of TV or movies, so Christmas movie marathons don’t entertain him at all.

We don’t fully know how much Emmett understands about Christmas, but we always include him in our traditions. Every year at our church candlelight service, the children do a nativity scene. Through the years, he has been baby Jesus, a sheep, a king, and a shepherd. This year, he was a shepherd. Before the service, all of the children got dressed in their costumes and waited in one of the classrooms. While they were waiting, Emmett kept trying to escape into the sanctuary because he wanted to be where all of the other people were. He is definitely a people person and he doesn’t want to miss out on anything. Once the kids were on stage, our pastor finished reading a Bible verse and sat down. All of the kids were supposed to stay together on the stage during a song. About halfway through the song, Emmett decided to join our pastor on the side pew. We joked that we needed a shepherd for our shepherd, but it honestly didn’t bother anyone that he wanted to do his own thing.

In many ways, I’m thankful that Emmett doesn’t seem to care that he does things differently. Earlier this week, we took him and his brother to see Santa. Emmett honestly couldn’t care less about seeing him and was more interested in playing with his bells. Of course, he also doesn’t really care about toys either, so why would he care about seeing Santa!? Besides that, we were actually there to see Grandma too and grandma’s are way cooler than Santa!

Although Emmett doesn’t get too excited about Christmas, he does enjoy the holiday treats, like cookies and hot chocolate. A few weeks ago, he did a really good job of “supervising”, while I was making cookies. Just before I put the last batch in the oven, I turned my back for a second and he snatched a cookie dough ball right off of the cookie sheet and popped it in his mouth! He had been watching so patiently and I had just told his brother how well he had been doing. A few days later, we made cookies at Nana’s house. I helped him ice one of the cookies and I let him eat it right away. He actually didn’t snatch any cookies that day, but while we were cleaning up, he stuck his hand in some of the leftover icing and sampled some. His impulse control is definitely getting better, but that bowl of icing was just too tempting!

The other thing about Christmas that Emmett loves is spending extra time with his favorite people. He doesn’t care much about presents, but definitely enjoys being with his family and friends.

I hope your holidays are filled with yummy treats and the people you love, just like Emmett’s will be!

Watching the train at Nana’s house

Emmett, the wandering shepherd, and his brother, the king.

Showing off his ugly Christmas sweater

Checking out Santa’s bells

So many cookies… so little time!

Bittersweet Birthdays

It’s hard to believe that our sweet boy is 10 years old! Although he has made a lot of progress and we have made many great memories together, Emmett's birthdays are always a little bittersweet. 

When Emmett’s brother turned 10, I made a compilation video of him through the years and decided to do the same for Emmett. However, I didn’t realize that the process of choosing a background song would bring up so many emotions. Of course, going through countless videos brought tears to my eyes too, but not in the same way.

There are a lot of songs about children growing up or the love that a parent has for a child, but it was hard finding a song that seemed to fit Emmett. Many of the lyrics are about the things that most children do as they grow, like climbing trees, jumping in puddles, and riding a bike. Emmett can do his own version of these things with help, but not on his own. Other songs have lyrics about how quickly things change, falling in love, and going out into the world. While these things are very common for most people, this is not our reality with Emmett. Of course, he is growing up and learning new things, but he needs constant supervision and it is unlikely that he will ever be able to live independently. Most of the time, I try not to dwell on these things, but it is hard to completely put it out of my mind, especially now that he has reached double digits and is still very much like a toddler.

The good news is that he doesn’t seem to care that he is different and he is usually pretty happy to just be with the people he loves. So, as I continued my search for the perfect song for his video, I found one that seemed very appropriate. The lyrics are likely written for a much younger child, but the message is just right for Emmett:

“Big World, Baby” by JJ Heller:

Little hands, when you get tired
I will help you through
Little heart, when you get broken
I will shelter you
Little ears, if you will listen

You will hear the truth

You will hear the truth

It’s a big world, baby

Big enough to dream

You’re not too small to do great things 

I’ll be with you, right beside you

Hold you when you cry

When the rain is falling on you

I will keep you dry

When you sail on stormy seas

I will be your guide

I will be your guide

It’s a big world, baby

Big enough to dream

You’re not too small to do great things 

Hear the music play

Dancing in your soul

Listen to the symphony

You’re beautiful!

* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * 

Emmett may not be able to do many things that other children his age can do, but he is definitely doing more than any of us could have imagined a few years ago. He may need our help to keep him safe, but isn’t that what parents are supposed to do?

There’s no way to know for sure to know what the next decade will bring, but we will do what we can to help Emmett do great things. I truly believe that he has already done great things by simply being himself and by the way he shows his love to others.

Check out Emmett’s video here:

Emmett: The First 10 Years

Emmett’s giant snickerdoodle cake!

Loving the beach

Brothers

Our little man

Just A Little Update

I can’t believe that the year 2021 is nearly over. Although things aren’t quite back to “normal”, they are definitely getting closer. All in all, Emmett has had a good year. Thankfully, he has been pretty healthy with just a few mild colds. He continues to get stronger and make progress. He has also gotten taller and has lost a few more baby teeth. He is still small for his age and has toddler sized feet, but he is growing and may actually reach 50 pounds by his 10th birthday!

Although Emmett has been healthy, one of his doctors was concerned about his posture because he tends to hold his shoulders back and push his belly out when he walks. This summer he got a flexible back brace to help minimize this, which will hopefully prevent back problems in the future. He doesn’t have to wear it all of the time, but he actually really likes it because it is very snug. I think he likes the compression feeling and feels like he’s getting a tight hug when he’s wearing it. We followed up with his doctor a few weeks ago and she believes that it is helping.

We also recently discovered that Emmett likes to wear hats. Over the past several months, he has been hitting himself on the head with his hand. He would sometimes do it out of frustration, but other times, there didn’t seem to be any triggers. After trying a few different things to minimize the behavior, with the help of his ABA program, we realized that wearing a hat seems to help. He must like the gentle pressure on his head. He will still hit himself occasionally, but it has decreased significantly since we started giving him a hat to wear. Many people with Xia-Gibbs Syndrome are sensory seekers, so this makes complete sense. We definitely don’t want him hitting himself, especially as he gets bigger and stronger, so I hope that this strategy continues to help.

One of the most exciting things about this year is that Emmett has finally learned how to isolate his pointer finger and has been learning how to use a communication app on an iPad. As his skills improve, we will be able to add more folders and choices for him. He has been using pictures on Velcro to communicate for quite a while, but being able to use a device will definitely make it easier to keep up to date and make changes. In the past, he just didn’t have the understanding or the fine motor skills to properly use a touchscreen, which meant we couldn’t get a device covered through insurance. Thankfully, we were able to borrow a device for him to practice on and he has made amazing progress, which means that he will be receiving his very own device within the next few months.

He has actually gotten so used to using an iPad to communicate, a few months ago, he thought that the license plate on his Nana’s car was an iPad and he couldn’t figure out why it wouldn’t do anything when he pushed on it.

Even when he doesn’t have his pictures or an iPad to use, Emmett is still very good about showing us what he wants. Typically, if I hold out two things for him to choose from, he will either grab what he wants or push away what he doesn’t want. A while back, I held out two different types of cookies for him to choose from and instead of grabbing one, he leaned over and took a huge bite out of one of them! I’d say that his choice was very clear that time. We don’t always understand what he wants, but I am thankful that we can figure it out most of the time. It is definitely a lot easier than it used to be.

I’m not sure what the year 2022 will bring for Emmett, but I do know that he keeps making progress and that he will continue to amaze us.

Little Man looking like a teenager!

Emmett loves looking out the window and wearing hats.

Someone snatched a cookie as soon as he noticed that they had been decorated!

Embracing Precious Moments

When I first started my ABM® NeuroMovement® practice, Embracing Movement, I decided to use the silhouette of my boys walking together as my logo. I based it off of a photo that I had taken a few months after Emmett had started walking. His brother, Corbin, was watching him carefully and holding his hand. Emmett was still a bit unsteady and unsure, but every step was a beautiful reminder of how far he had come. Every time I look at my logo, I am reminded of that moment and I thought it was only fitting to use an image of what inspired me to become a practitioner in the first place.

Last fall, I took a similar photo. To many people, it may just look like a sweet photo of two brothers walking together. However, if you look closer and you know more about our journey, it is so much more! This is a photo of a little boy who has had countless hours of therapy and didn't walk until he was 3 years old. It is also a photo of a big brother who has been Emmett's protector and cheerleader, every step of the way.

5 1/2 years later, I'm thankful that they still have an amazing bond, but some things are definitely different. Instead of focusing on every step, they are nearly running and Emmett is leading the way! He may not be able to do everything that other children his age do, but he has made huge gains. I've learned to embrace every little accomplishment because those little accomplishments add up to much bigger things! It is hard to imagine what Emmett may be doing in another five years, but I know that he will continue to amaze us and that his brother will continue to walk beside him and I will continue to embrace these precious moments.

Sheltering in Place

The year 2020 will definitely be a year that no one forgets! People around the world have been affected in many different ways. Every situation is different and while our situation is better than many, it has still taken some time to get used to. With the exception of a few short car rides and walks, the two boys and I haven't left our property since March 18th. I'm very thankful to have a big backyard and plenty of things to keep us busy, but it has definitely been an interesting time. We have taken the shelter in place order very seriously, not only because Emmett could be considered high risk due to his low muscle tone and being prone to upper respiratory infections, but also for others that may be at even higher risk.
For the most part, our third grader, Corbin, seems to be taking the shelter in place order in stride. Aside from being extremely sad when we had to reschedule our trip to Orlando and missing his friends and family, he is pretty content doing his school work in his pajamas and hanging out at home. He has definitely gotten more screen time than I’d like to admit, but he has also done more creative projects, has played more board games, and has spent more time outside. He has also been helping us cook more and has even learned how to cook a few things on his own.
Emmett, on the other hand, is not quite as content. If you know Emmett, you know that he loves his routine and he especially likes going to his ABA “school”. Every morning starts out the same way. After breakfast, I help Emmett get dressed and I normally say, “are you ready to get dressed to go nowhere?” I say this in hopes that he will be okay with staying home. He seems excited at first, because for him, putting on clothes means that we ARE going somewhere. If I don’t get dressed in “real clothes”, he will go into my room, pull clothes out of my dresser, and bring them to me. He does the same thing with coats and shoes. All of these things mean “GO” for Emmett.
I think the fact that his dad is still going into work makes him think that he should be going to school. After all, that is how it has been, since he was 3 years old. I can understand why he would think that, but unfortunately, that is not the case right now.
Once he is dressed, he takes me by the hand and leads me to the front door, where we hang his jacket and backpack. This boy wants to go to school!
I tell him that I understand that he wants to go to school, but it is closed right now because lots of people are getting sick and we have to stay home so that we don’t get sick too. He looks at me with disappointment and fusses with frustration, but he eventually realizes that we really aren’t going anywhere. He does this several times a day, EVERY day! He seems to be getting more used it, but it doesn’t change the fact that he gets frustrated.
In our normal routine, Emmett normally gets one-on-one assistance and therapy for 35 hours a week. They focus on communication, fine and gross motor skills, social interaction, and life skills. He also normally has hippotherapy (therapeutic horseback riding) combined with physical therapy and occupational therapy for two hours every week. This may seem like a lot for a little guy, but these services have truly been a game changer for Emmett and he loves it. They are all providing support via video conferences and emails, but I simply can’t do everything that they do in the same capacity.
Although it isn’t the same, I do my best to integrate things to help him improve his skills throughout the day. I have also been able to give him more ABM© lessons, which is definitely a good thing. During this change in our routine, he has made great progress in a several areas. While being home, Emmett has mastered opening doors with doorknobs and standing up from sitting on the floor without crawling to furniture or to one of us for help. He is also showing more interest in some of his toys and books and is following simple requests more consistently. He has even figured out how to open the refrigerator. (which may be getting a lock very soon!)
Although this may not be an ideal situation, it has actually been really good for all of us. We may not be physically seeing our family and friends, but video chats have helped us stay connected. We have also talked and texted with them more in the last several weeks than we normally do, so in some ways we are more connected than we have been in a long time. Emmett is extremely social, so being able to see the people that he loves definitely helps. Anytime he sees his family, friends, or therapists on a video call, his face lights up and he giggles. It may not be the same as seeing them in person, but it does make it a little easier being able to see their faces.
Don’t get me wrong, it will be nice to see people face to face and to get back to our “usual routine”, but I’m also thankful for this time that we have had to slow down. Although both boys are still early risers, we don’t have to rush to get ready to go anywhere! We can do school work outside, take recess whenever we want to, and have church in our pajamas. We may get a little stir crazy, but it has also been a time to make memories and really appreciate what we have. I hope that you have been able to find the blessings in all of this as well.

Here are a few photos from the past several weeks.

Can we please go somewhere?

Emmett's not so subtle hint!

Double trouble!

Enjoying the sunshine!

Corbin making scrambled eggs.

Outdoor school time.

Look who can open the pantry now!

Easter egg hunt in pajamas and new rain boots!

Hakuna Matata! We will get through this!

Reality Check

I have a confession to make: my boys are not always happy! You may have noticed that most of the pictures that I share on social media and on my blog are of very happy boys. Big smiles, sweet moments, and coordinating outfits may make for beautiful pictures, but let’s face it... these are only moments in time and in between those moments are many other not so happy moments.

Don’t get me wrong. We have a pretty good life, but it is definitely not “picture perfect”. In most situations, I tend to be an optimistic person. I just know that through experience and observation that it is easier to get through the tough times by making the best of what life throws at you. However, that doesn’t mean that we don’t have bad days, cry or even get angry.

Most people think that Emmett is always happy. When we are out, he is normally pretty happy, but he often times gets really frustrated at home or even if we are out and he is ready to be somewhere else. He is constantly asking to “go” with his pictures or by bringing us our coats or shoes. He gets especially mad if his dad and his brother leave and they don’t take him too! He also cries almost every weekday morning, when he realizes that his dad has already left for work, even though this has been the case for his entire life! We can normally work through it, but it can be exhausting at times. Although his communication skills have improved, it is hard for us, as parents, not knowing for sure what Emmett wants and I’m sure it is equally frustrating for him.

Emmett’s not the only one that has “not so happy” moments. We all do! Mine tend to sneak up on me when I least expect it. Sometimes when I’m watching other children play, I can’t help, but get a little sad. Even some toddlers are doing things that Emmett still can’t do. A few weeks ago, I was going through the boys’ toys to donate and started tearing up. Not because I didn’t want to part with them, but because Emmett never played with them. There are so many toys that I’ve held onto in hopes that Emmett would show interest in, but even at 7 years old, no toy holds his interest for more than a few minutes. Is that something to cry about? Probably not. But it does make me a little sad that he doesn't take joy in playing and pretending like other children. It clearly doesn't bother him, but it sure would be nice to say, "why don't you go play Legos with your brother?" Oh, wait, did I mention that Emmett also puts everything in his mouth? Okay, maybe the Duplo blocks are a better idea. Either way, he is not interested. I know that this can be hard for Corbin too because most children can play and pretend with their siblings for hours. He never really complains about it, but he definitely asks us to play with him a lot and often wants to have friends over to play, so I do feel like he misses out on some things.

Thankfully, Corbin currently seems fairly unfazed by the fact that his little brother is different. He may get a little annoyed when Emmett tears something up, chews on his toys, or is crying really loud, but for the most part, he is really good with him. He has also had to learn to be more patient because Emmett requires more help and doesn’t do things very quickly. That’s not necessarily a bad thing, but it is definitely a reality. We try to keep a balance, but there are times that I have to miss things with Corbin because Emmett has an appointment or just doesn’t do well in some situations. I guess that can happen anytime you have more than one child, but that doesn’t keep me from feeling bad about it. However, this year, between his stomach problems and breaking his arm, Corbin has gotten a lot more one on one time. He even tied with Emmett for the number of times that he's been to the to the ER! We definitely don’t want to have a tie breaker anytime soon! Corbin is normally our "healthy one", so it was really strange taking him to so many appointments and seeing him go through so many tests and X-rays. He was a pretty good patient, but he was definitely nervous.

Although Corbin is usually well behaved and is really good with Emmett, he still has rough days, makes mistakes, and disagrees with us about some of our rules and expectations. We don't expect him to be perfect and thankfully, he doesn't expect us to be perfect either.

The truth is, no one's life is "picture perfect" and by now, I have hopefully convinced you that despite my positive posts, we aren’t always happy. I’d like to explain why it has taken me so long to write a new blog post. I actually had the idea for this post several months ago, but every time I tried to write it, I couldn’t quite find the words. Even now, I feel a little guilty writing about our struggles. Not because they aren’t real, but because it could be so much worse!

I know of families that have gone through so much more than we have, but continue to keep a positive attitude and never give up. Some have children that have spent weeks or even months in the hospital. Others have been investigated or have even had their children taken away from them, when they were simply trying to get them the medical help they need. Another family is mourning the loss of a seemingly healthy child that unexpectedly passed away in her sleep.

We all have our struggles, but when I hear about what others have been through, it really puts things in perspective. Having a child with special needs is not easy, but we have so much to be thankful for. So, when you see those happy faces on my blog or social media, please know that I’m not trying to create a false sense of reality, I’m simply trying to spread a little happiness in an often not so happy world. I’m choosing to focus on the good and I hope that by doing so, I’m helping others do the same.



Here are just a couple examples of our "not so happy moments"

Emmett upset when he found out his school was closed for the day

Corbin waiting to get his arm examined

And some of my many attempts for the "perfect shot"...