Monday, January 19, 2015

A Different Perspective

I like to think that I have always been a fairly compassionate person, but I believe that having Emmett has made me much more aware of others and slow to judge. When we were first told that Emmett had low muscle tone, I didn't know much about it. I quickly learned that it could affect many things in his life, not only his gross and fine motor skills, but also his eating, drinking, breathing, and speech.
It used to drive me crazy to see a child using a bottle, when they were clearly "old enough" not to. Now I know that low muscle tone can make it difficult to eat and drink and that a bottle may be their only option. I never imagined that I would have to help my 2 1/2 year old hold his cup and thicken his liquids, so he doesn't aspirate, but that is exactly what I do. I also never imagined that I would have to spoon feed him a large percentage of his food because he has difficulty chewing certain foods and doesn't have the fine motor skills to spoon feed himself.
These challenges, and many more, have made me look at things in a whole new perspective. Maybe the 4-year-old with a pacifier isn't coddled, but has sensory issues and it helps keep her calm. Maybe the 7-year-old in a stroller isn't lazy, but has low muscle tone and tires easily. Maybe the 9-year-old who is crying and screaming isn't unruly, but is autistic and is unable to verbalize what is bothering him. Maybe the student who is fidgeting and slouching in her chair isn't hyperactive, but has a weak core and just needs someone to put a stool under her feet. Maybe the toddler that doesn't respond isn't ignoring you, but has a slow processing time and needs time to absorb what is being said. Maybe the baby that wakes up several times a night isn't spoiled, but has sleep apnea and is just trying to breathe. Things are not always what they seem. There are many disabilities that aren't visible and many situations that can be misunderstood.
I'm not saying that there aren't spoiled children or that every child that misbehaves has a disability or a medical condition. I just want everyone, including myself, to be more compassionate and slow to judge.
I found a quote, several years ago, that I absolutely love:
"While we try to teach our children all about life, our children teach us what life is all about."
                                                                                                        -Angela Schwindt

Even without being able to talk, Emmett has taught me so much and I can't wait to see what else he will teach me, in the years to come.


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